There comes a point in your life when you have to make a decision. We always try to make this decision about ourselves and how it will effect us either direction we go. We focus on "me, me, me" and we forget. We forget what is important. We forget who gave us the choice. We forget what we are really making a decision about. We don't want to admit that this decision is to listen to God or to deny God.
I am at this crossroad. I have come to peace with the fact that God is calling on me to do something big, something drastic, something life changing. What I have to keep reminding myself of (and asking God to shove into my face) is that this decision is for the glory of God and not for me. This is an opportunity to show my faith and trust in God that He will carry me and deliver me. This is an opportunity to surrender myself fully to His mercy.
"If you knew the gift of God, and who it is that is saying to you 'Give me a drink', you would have asked him, and he would have given you living water" Jesus said this in John 4:10
Jesus asked a Samaritan woman for a drink of water and she couldn't understand why he would be speaking to her let alone asking her for anything. I mean, come on, she was a Samaritan woman and he was a Jewish man. How could HE talk to HER? Isn't that how we feel sometimes? HE is Christ and I am just ME, a sinner. What could HE want from ME?
This may be how we think sometimes, but this is not how He sees us. He blesses us every day and in retrospect there is not a whole lot He expects in return. He asks for our love, devotion, faith, hope and trust. In return we are blessed beyond our own comprehension. When we freely and lovingly give God what He requests and commands of us, we are given the gift of living water.
"whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again. The water that I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life." John 4:13
Fortunately we have a gracious and loving God who does not scoff at us the same way we do to ourselves. We all ask Him why He would want anything from us. We all doubt His plan sometimes. We all lack faith sometimes. And every time we do God puts His hand out to us and says "let me show you". God creates miracles in our lives. We wonder why, but the answer is because of His unending love for us. He wants us to love Him and live for Him and His will, and in return He provides a place for us in Heaven and blesses us while we are here on earth.
"But the hour is coming, and is now here, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for the Father is seeking such people to worship Him. God is spirit and those who worship Him must worship in spirit and truth." John 4:23-24
God calls upon all of us, each of His children, to worship him in spirit and truth. He wants us to know Him. He seeks us. He knows us deeper than we could even know ourselves, and He wants us to know Him. You don't add Jesus to your life; Jesus adds you to His.